We received a circular in the mail the other day for a local chain of Christian bookstores. Now we all know that most Christian bookstores tend to be lean on substantive books, ironically enough, and full of other stuff ranging from music to trinkets. So I’m going to blog through the circular and just make a few observations and comments (hey I’m bored):
* Clay Aiken, of American Idol fame, is finally showing up in the CCM market. It was destined to happen. His is one of several Christmas CDs in the catalog.
* Wow they sell “Promise Seeds.” These look like candy corns in Christmas colors (red, green, white). But these aren’t mere redecorated candy corns – this is serious Christian candy complete with Bible verses on the wrapper or something. The jumbo bag is only $5.99!
* The Narnia hype-machine is going to be deafening. With the success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Disney’s much-anticipated release of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, the first book in CS Lewis’ beloved Chronicles of Narnia, is expected to be a pot of gold. The marketing machine is in full gear with several pages of this catalog devoted to various Narnia products. The books themselves, computer games, figurines, books about the books, and decorative pieces are all available so you can immerse yourself in all things Narnia. I’m excited about the movie… but the Christian bookstores are apparently more excited. Now it is certainly worth it to me if the hype machine will actually get people to read more Lewis.
* It appears that if the money keeps rolling in, Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins will continue putting out installments of Left Behind until, well, Jesus comes back. Now they’ve got prequels out.
* Looks like Louie Giglio has a book out. That’s good news.
* The copy written to promote one book says, “Firm up your theology in just five minutes a day!” Is that like firming up your abs? Is that possible in five minutes a day? Well, not if you’re reading a book by this particular author…. but that’s another story for another day. In general I suppose five minutes on theology is better than nothing.
* There is something called “Mock croc Bible purse with Matching Wallet” that you can take home for $29.97. I guess its faux crocodile skin with a lovely ichtus snap on it – which of course qualifies it as a Christian purse.
* There is a CD by someone called T-Bone. Apparently the Christian music world is in dire need of another white rapper. Then again, apparently he’s been around a while. Wow. OK out of sheer morbid curiosity I had to look him up. Evidently he is known as the “Lyrical Assassin” – not to be confused with Warren G, the “lyrical gangster” of the 1990’s (who is not a Christian rapper).
Well this has been a long and winding journey through this particular Christian bookstore’s holiday circular. We didn’t even get to discuss Christian jewelry or wristbands. And where were all of the bad T-shirts? Anyway, that’s enough for now. For more, well just go to the store.